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12 August, 2009

by The Wandering Wastrel

One day when I was 19 my friends and I were in the living room of our stinking home and had gathered around a machine that was for stimulating the muscles of the body with powerful electric shocks. We just called it SHOCKY. Most of us were on Drugs at the time .
We were seeing who was the toughest – Which of course was determined by who could endure the hardest shocks for the longest.

We would hook up the special pads to various parts of the body and then crank on the Juice.

When the dude either started screaming or started ripping the pads off we would stop the flow of current.

But sometimes we would hold the guy down and shock the hell out of him. We screamed in glee while he screamed in terror.

After receiving a bunch of shocks to the chest and neck I was shaking so bad I pissed myself a little bit and got really really terrified of SHOCKY. It was as if SHOCKY was an evil living thing.

After enduring many intense shocks to the head one of my friends took the safety pads off SHOCKY and taped SHOCKY’s wires to his temples.

Despite his insistence that he be the one to shock himself and then only lightly we cranked the juice to MAX. There was a POP ! And a loud scream and the smell of burning flesh and he ripped off the wires yelling obsenities. There were harsh burn marks from where the wires were.
While the above really is a tale of pure pure idiocy the scary thing is that only today in a moment of pure clarity did I recall the above.
It had been hidden away for 13 years.

Dont give yourself shocks.

Its very bad.